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All They Need is Love

Hayley and her 90-year-old Bubby

 

As an elderly caregiver, I’m seeing one major connection to all of my clients, so far: all they need is unconditional love. Although they may not remember what day it is or what they ate for lunch, they know the difference between someone who cares about them and someone who doesn’t.

My aunt Helen is in the middle stages of Alzheimer’s. She can be angry, forgetful and when we all eat together, she tends to keep her eyes closed. It’s as if she is refusing to be present and wants to escape. As far as I can see, it’s vital to be supportive of her, in whatever state she is in; to accept and embrace all her different moods and to treat her with kindness, patience, love and respect.

My own personal opinion on people with Alzheimer’s is that they are in a sense, acting out their true pent-up (or deeply hidden) feelings that they never felt because of society or family-related beliefs/standards of behaving. My take on that is we give them: space to expand themselves, freedom to do what they want to do/feel and unconditional love. If we can respect them, accept them for who they are and treat them with unending kindness and consideration, then at the very least they will live with some sort of inner peace and joy. It’s the least we can do to make their last days (months or years) on this earth enjoyable. 

Three Generations